The Blogger App needs to be walked down the plank with a razor sharp but twangy pirate cutlass right up its right nostril & then plunged into shark infested waters - just sayin......delete the app from all orofices & do not re-upload under any profligate inducement
Thursday, 27 May 2021
The End of Mental Illness - Dr Daniel Amen
His new book The End of Mental Illness is out in hardback and For sale at Wordery
TEDxOrangeCoast - Daniel Amen - Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
This was his original TedTalk in 2011
The Secret to Ending Mental Illness | Dr. Daniel Amen on Health Theory
Oh this guy is magic - I think I saw his Ted Talk 10 yrs ago - he covers a lot of ground here - I used to listen to binaural beats for cultivating various brain waves, perhaps a bit haphazardly & I have always had an interest in hypnosis & NLP but this guy seems to have synthesised the lot; nuticeutricals, diet, mindfulness, biofeedback, lifestyle, positive suggestion, gratitude - whoomff! I love a beautiful overarching unified theory 💕💕💕
Tuesday, 25 May 2021
Monday, 24 May 2021
Harry & the Mental MSM
I've just watched some of the Oprah & Harry series on Apple TV, just to clarify, I saw none of the Harry & Meghan talk with Oprah a while back, but was aware of a range of commentary on Twitter. I see basically no MSM commentary as it makes me sick. Long term free from MSM me.
I just want to say, "well done lad" - keep on trying to find a way to be well, keep on expressing yourself however you see fit. Its not you that's lost anything, its the barbaric MSM commentariat that's long lost it way, not its victims.
For high profile people, high profile for *any reason* to open up conversations about mental health problems is exactly what the world need right now. We have epidemic levels of pointless profit driven prescription drug interventions causing more problems than they are helping. We have a massive poverty driven mental health crisis fueling drug abuse, prostitution, gang violence & criminal activity. We have a 2 tier society where in the UK 75% adults live on less than the 27k our Prime Minister just spent on Take Out Lunches, whilst funnelling more & more wealth to the already wealthy, those already in the right clubs, those in the right families.
Despite having been born into one of the aforementioned Establishment 'right families', I'm proud of Harry & all of the other survivors featured in the documentary series. Being mentally & emotionally well is hard work for everyone in a society that does not care about or prioritise common wellbeing. I have 2 adult kids both now suffering the after effects of their childhood neglect & poverty & other abuses that stemmed from those, & just like Harry, are not wanting to pass these down to their young children & attempting to get help, to understand & heal themselves.
My parents, like the Royals, did not have any framework in which to talk about or have empathy for mental health problems. I'm glad Harry has Meghan & a progressive community around him who want to face up to & heal their trauma. It is time.
Sunday, 23 May 2021
Rain Stop, May Play
UK in May 2021 = Permanently soaked........
I am a regular user of the 'smile anyway' method of endorphin production - I've been at it a very long time - its in the same self help department as 'fake it till you make it' body posture holding because the 'slump of depression' is not just metaphorical - I've been using the former of late to get wet dog walks off to a less demoralised start & it really helps.
Having Bipolar I have a tendency to easy excess Dopamine which makes me beam like a lighthouse too - its vital to cultivate the self awareness to know what that feels like, as its a pleasurable feeling state that, left unchecked becomes hyper-mania where my brain melts. Well worth avoiding as I like my brain. Bipolars who say they like being high generally mean lower level hyper mania I think, as the higher reaches become increasingly painful in nervous system irritation & OCD levels of drive &/or activity. Deeply distressing & very very damaging.
Treated with the very necessary & very good deal of respect, I can still have the high response vehicle I am without being destroyed by its wanton excesses & without needing to take mind & metabolism dulling pharmaceuticals. Thats the deal. Super self awareness & self management or death..... not even cake, well very rarely ......🎂
Self responsibility or debilitating brain injury - I'll have self responsibility please.......
Bob & Brad - 60 Second Stretches to Get Knots from Shoulders, Upper Back, & Traps
💗 Subscribe to Bob & Brad if you are over 30 (Hi Matti 👀)
Bipolar & other mental illnesses are sometimes treated with anti-seizure medications partly because of the propensity to build up profound levels of muscular tension if you're not careful.
Being in physical pain is such a trigger for low mood, maintaining toned relaxed muscles & releasing tension is innately rewarding. (Serotonin/Dopamine increasing)
I love Bob & Brad - looking at their subscribers I guess everyone else does too
Tuesday, 18 May 2021
Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? | Kati Morton
This is superb from Kati
💗
I took loads of photos of the clouds last night in a break in the rain - it was still cold 6 degrees - but we got a good skyscape sunset. Kati's video inspired me to share some of them.
Thats too many.... what the heck - being in nature is best medicine, best practice 🙌
5 Easy Ways to STIMULATE THE VAGUS NERVE
The Vagus Nerve malfunctioning is the basis for sooooo much mental health trouble.
Such great information here - perfectly condensed - its one of the reasons why cold sea water is so helpful to my poorly nerves - I personally would not want an implant but I understand that they do work in severe cases.
This is Kati Morton who has a massive 1 million followers on Youtube & a Community you can join. She's is great, follow her if nothing else https://www.youtube.com/c/Katimorton
Nutrient Dense Medicinal Hot Chocolate
I am very sensitive to dietary crap especially normal sugar & artificial sweeteners -
so this is my Superfood Nutrient Dense Medicinal Hot Chocolate for your delectation & a piece of calm.
huge heaped tsp Gelatinised Maca Powder
1/2 tsp True Ceylon Cinnamon
Milk of your choice
Raw Honey to taste
Mix it up with some hot water is easiest but in a pan if you like it more milky & Officially Hot Choc Rock Out!
*never mix Skullcap with Meds*
NB/ switch milk for 1 Tbsp butter & more honey skip the Maca to make cheat Chocolate Truffles par excellence 💗💪😎😍
Blue Light that you DO Really Need
Full Spectrum Daylight even on a cloudy day is a very important mood manager & essential for anyone who struggles with mental health issues of any kind. I like the rule that pre-midday outdoor light (even for just 10 mins though more is better) is best medicine for wayward circadian rhythm tendencies & low mood alike. I have full spectrum daylight led bulbs in the areas of the house where I wake up but warm lighting where I slow down. People with Bipolar are enormously sensitive & susceptible to light, Both too much & not enough.
Very general Peer Review Research about the use of full spectrum light for low mood & insomnia.
Which mentions the care required & risk of mania for bipolar sufferers so reminds me that I was working in a confined space with a light box when I got my big high in 2015 that got me diagnosed.
The narrow bandwidth of screen blue light from all our devices is very intense & overstimulating to the nervous system - really, the last thing you need with Anxiety & Depression.
Make (Up) of it what you will
I have just bought a make-up powder product that I believe is called a highlighter which gives me a charming extraterrestrial glow - I am really new to make-up but, I mean, the sensory experience of using lipsticks seems to be overall as good as sex or at least getting a bit of a snog much of the time & time spent with a big super-soft fluffy brush could never be described as wasted. Overall I am finding my making up experiments to be unexpectedly grounding & centering, for want of a better description.
I did always assume, as a non make-up person for nearly 40 years, that make-up was all about the way you look, my experience has been that that is not what it is about at all. My experience is that it is an Art like any Art & in that it inherently inspires a great mentally & emotionally relaxed state. It has absolutely been mainly about how it makes me feel, the attention I'm giving myself, the lovely sensory experience of using it on top of the wonderful feeling of being enhanced & looking somewhat better than I do really.
The only quasi downside I've noticed is that I am more self conscious, as in conscious of my bodily self as opposed to, say, being so consumed by nature that I have a semi perception of being present in the leaf & the bird I am seeing or sounds I'm hearing. Now, for me being very readily & easily dissociative, being more in my body is a good thing, it feels grounding. For others needing/wanting to connect more with their environment I recommend going make-up free in nature.
This was just my rambling overview, make up of it what you will.
Me extending my new found ET glow with the help of the setting sun.😉
Monday, 17 May 2021
BPD Misdiagnosis and Consequences of it.
Video from Dr Daniel Fox - expert in the Personality Disorders
Daniel says in this video that diagnosis is not for the purpose of 'self-identification' but for devising an appropriate treatment plan because the best practice for BPD is more clearly some very specific unravelling therapies (DBT & others) compared to others diagnoses.
For me, the purpose of diagnosis, especially being a dual-diagnosis with Bipolar, has been 'the Map' element as well as the treatment - recognising behaviour, reactions, states, etc & being able to identify where I am. Also, the 'accounting for my life having been relentlessly impossible' element really, it cannot be overstated how helpful this has been.
Having spent 20 years in the psychotherapeutic community - both as client & in training to be a psychotherapist - (2/3 qualified) also in self help & also in the mindfulness movement I think its important to highlight the fact that some Severe Mental Illnesses including BPD, are not helped & indeed can be actively hindered by both some intensive mindfulness practices & some intensive historical trauma re-living in therapy.
Both of these valid self help routes to manage mental illness caused me harm, whilst I paradoxically completely stand by both of their values in managing mental health generally speaking - BPD is an especially confusing & messed up response to stress, its a very maladaptive response to trauma, adversity & distress.
Previously, long believed unhealable, the BPD specific therapy, DBT, devised by Marsha Lineham, combines the principles of mindfulness with learning interpersonal skills, distress tolerance and emotion regulation with the prerequisite of you having to create 'a life that's worth living'.
The popular new age, predominantly male pastime of the fetishisation of the 'eradication of ones ego' has been one of the most destructive ideologies I have been surrounded by over the years As a woman with a fundamentally disrupted & damaged sense of self, destroying what wasn't even there proved extremely dangerous. I became anorexic around these influences. Not saying some men might not benefit from less over developed ego though, just sayin.
I am not alone in my finding some mindfulness practices harmful - I suspect the more sensitive you are the less you have to try to be mindful - in essence 'sensitivity' is a form of uncontrolled mindfulness/ hyper awareness - ultimately what I needed was distraction from my super sensitivity & a balanced sense of self.
"I had assumed that I was just uniquely bad at taming my thoughts. Yet a growing body of research suggests that such stories may be surprisingly common, with one study from 2019 showing that at least 25% of regular meditators have experienced adverse events, from panic attacks and depression to an unsettling sense of “dissociation”."
Ah, yes, dissociation, that really really difficult symptom of BPD........
May & Clay
May & Clay - after weeks & weeks dry - all this May heavy rain is just running across the clay-heavy ground in torrents. Thats the footpath there.
I wanted to live blog getting soaked this morning & say "I don't want to do this" I don't walk for fun or for pleasure - I walk because I cannot risk not walking - I especially got my exercise-needy dogs because I need to be pulled out of the door twice a day wether I want to go or nor to PREVENT DEPRESSION -maintaining the routine wins vs depression. The double trouble of the 2 full-on male collies bust through the clay like physical inertia that deep depression establishes so perniciously.
I do not recommend this exact technique to the faint of heart - it was an extreme measure in the absence of any meaningful support system, this did win against long looong loooooong stagnant brain damaging depressions.
It was a desperate measure, getting 2 energetic male dogs as puppies from the same litter. I was ending what I knew had to be my last attempt at a relationship & I knew the distraction needed to be severe enough to prevent complete capitulation.
I may have overplayed my need but undershooting it was not an option.
Sunday, 16 May 2021
Anti -Inflammatories & Miscellaneous Vitamins/Minerals/Herbs
Anti -Inflammatories & Miscellaneous Vitamins/Minerals I take most days
Ginger & Tumeric Tea - I keep a pot of fresh root infusing in the fridge & use daily by adding:
Vitamin C with Bioflavinoids (my own mix - about 2000mg Ascorbic Acid & 250mg Bioflavinoids.
1/3 tsp N-Acetyl Cysteine
& 1/3 tsp Magnesium Glycinate
Then I take
Vitamin E Oil (I/4-1/2 tsp - periodically based on how I feel) (I use Solar Natural Source)
& High EPA Fish Oil (1 tsp)
I actually only take one capsule a day - 5mg Lithium Orotate - in the evening, all my other things are powders - not only is this the cheapest way to take nutritional supplements but it gives you the opportunity to do the 'under the tongue' rapid absorption/ 'do I feel I need this' technique. (dab test first as some things listed are very sour/very hot)
I'm down to a core herb regime of just 5mls Skullcap tincture in the afternoon & 10mls of Lemon Balm in the evening - I've been through a wide range of herb tinctures looking for the best anti-anxiety/relaxant effects & this is currently my best & has been for a couple of years.
Others I have enjoyed benefits from include Kava Kava, Passionflower, Hops, Valerian, Ashwaganda, Brahmi/Bacopa Monneri which is one of my all time favourites effect wise.
I do find Vitamin D (5-10,000iu as needed) clearly & unambiguously mood uplifting & High EPA Fish Oil whilst still anti-depressant, is a good 'downer'/mood stabiliser/anti psychotic.
How to Spot the 4 Types of Borderline Personality Disorder
My daughter sent me this - I think that the more we explore, the more clarity we gain the better - both of my adult children have symptoms of high functioning BPD.
This is a bit fast moving & aimed at health practitioners.
Robert Whitaker: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs & Astonishing Rise of ...
I thought this was a lovely conversation. If you have any interest in Natural support for Mental Health then this is well worth your time
Blueblocking Glasses for All but especially those with Bipolar & GAD
(I so wanted to to be able to blog on the fly from my iphone - the App is an absolute joke - if anyone can tell me what the problem is with the App I would be most grateful. I used to use the App 5 years ago & remember it working fine now its all over the place with poor interlinking with the Safari version - crap - in short. Very disappointed.)
Just got a replacement pair of these Blueblock glasses after my old yellow ones died a while ago - immediately I feel reduced anxiety & find it easier to be naturally tired instead of wired whilst spending 'too much' time in front of screens.
They are very cheap, I get these from a company called Cyxus.
I've got a ton of info
to get up on here - but to be honest I'd rather just give directions & hope for anyone with severe mental health that it is possible not only to recover from, often chronic, lingering, lifelong SMH conditions but also recovery from medications that can leave so many struggling & feeling impaired.
https://www.balancingbrainchemistry.co.uk/peter-smith/1/HOME.html
Peter Smith at Balancing Brain Chemistry Naturally was one of my most useful & thorough resource websites back when I was in the depth of post Bipolar 1 'High' brain damage.
It seems obvious to me now, looking back that deep depression causes brain damage, call it 'brain changes' if that's easier, & so does hyper-mania & more especially proper full blown mania. The mental disorganisation is hard to describe but it is utterly crippling. The sense of being oneself as one knew oneself to be gets completely annihilated. Feeling permanently befuddled or confused was my lot for much of the last 35 years & not knowing why I felt like that because I didn't have a diagnosis.
Anyway Peter was brilliant.
Bob N Me N my son Matti
All you are getting are the photos today - my nerves are down but i've managed to get the photos together - although I think there is one of just Matti with Robert, but I canna write the tale of how it happened - but it was great - 2002 not 2004 - 30th May 💗💜💜
So this is me & my son Matti pretending to be family with Robert Plant - he was so gracious, it was such an honour. I actually met him 3 times over 2 days & 2 gigs thanks to my legendary blunder of not realising that my ticketed 14 year old might not be allowed into the main venue alcohol serving section of the Time Club at Bangor University. A rookie error that served me really well with backstage passes, that again served me really well to crash the aftershow at Liverpool Mountford Hall, the next day with Matti safely stashed at my cousins house.
oh dear I'm remembering now........ oh dear......... 😅😆😉
Anyways - its nice to post these. Nearly 20 years ago. What a lovely man.
Thursday, 6 May 2021
Favorite Artists for different Composers
Just discovered Maurizio Pollini playing the Chopin Polonaise cycle 💜 well I think that's perfection...... when homework = unfettered bliss 🙋
I saw a brilliant comment on https://youtu.be/8QT7ITv9Ecs video of Kissin playing the Heroic Op 53 saying 'if you can play this, you win' 💪😁😀😂
Otherwise, I love all of the Chopin by the incredible & otherworldly Evgeny Kissin
I learnt the Beethoven Piano Sonatas with the sincerely irreplaceable Daniel Barenboim
All the Schubert I study is with infinitely treasurable Alfred Brendel
I studied the Chopin Nocturnes with the sublime Brigitte Engerer
Hmmm that's me there - that's what I've been doing this last 8 years & I've loved every minute
I'm a bit/very out of touch with modern music these days though there was a time, early 00's, when I was Robert Plant to my friends Jimmy Page covering Led Zeppelin at house parties, as you do. I can't remember much about this period, it was an extremely tough time. My guitarist Steve reminded me recently that I sang "Whole Lotta Love" in the garden at a party where he got hit on by his future wife of 18 years. I don't remember but my Zep phase directly led to meeting Robert Plant in 2004 (photos later, its a great story) - for which Steve was endlessly jealous - although his good fortune in such a solid relationship was equally enviable imo 💞
Just realised I'm describing Led Zep as 'modern music' comparatively, compared to......... my 'new' lot 😅😇💪💫
Wednesday, 5 May 2021
Pink Lips
This little chap right outside my bedroom window 👀
Art by Sky earlier this week 💗
Bloody 7 degrees 4th May 🥶 Pink Lips
Saturday, 1 May 2021
Bio-Identical Progesterone as Unisex Master NeuroSteroid
https://womeninbalance.org/resources-research/progesterone-and-the-nervous-systembrain/
https://www.progesteronetherapy.com
As with all un-patentable molecules, profit obsessed Big Pharma blocks the promotion, as well as the research & development of many potentially vital & profoundly helpful substances because they will undoubtably pose a threat to their unquenchable bottom line.
You will even find that the patentable synthetic version, Progestin is used in research & then misleadingly referred to simply as Progesterone, which it is not. Synthetic Progestin is inflammatory & has negative side affects, Bio-Identical Progesterone does not but they *really* do not want you to know that.
If you ponder the financial impact of a cheap alternative medicine for a wide swath of health issues in one stroke, you will realise that you must take mainstream research that dismisses it with a pinch of salt.
I know there are currently moves to make Bio-Identical Progesterone illegal in the US - hopefully they will not come to anything.
An Anti-Inflammatory Diet is Primary in All Mental Health Problems
Just that.
You will get nowhere with natural care for depression, anxiety, psychosis etc if you are eating loads of sugar, heavy carbs, alcohol, trans fats, also artificial sweeteners, or not getting enough protein for your metabolic type. Also checking for common food allergies is necessary as obviously any food intolerances can cause inflammation.
I describe it as arthritic people feel it in their knees when they eat inflammatory foods or drinks, or get a headache if they don't have a chronic condition, but people predisposed to severe mental health problems feel it in their minds & their moods, often as well as physical symptoms.
BorderPolar
https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-and-borderline-personality-disorder-dual-diagnosis
Here are some links to articles that attempt to describe life with the dual diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder plus Bipolar Disorder. It is no joke. I have suffered symptoms of BPD since early/ mid teens & I'd say Bipolar 2 from about 17 throughout my 20's & 30's with emphasis on long periods of depression, up to 9 months at a time - changing to mostly hypomanic through my 40's culminating in a full blown manic episode & a graduation to Bipolar 1 at 48.
The BPD elements, which have been constant & concurrent but have gone unrecognised by me as well as everyone else for such a long time have been a bit like carrying a invisible dead body with me at all times, that is constantly interfering with my concentration & my emotional balance. Crippling, as well as very very misunderstood, with extremely high levels of ignorance & stigma from much mainstream society.
There is some overlap with the symptoms of the 2 conditions but the insight I have gained from having the dual diagnosis has been transformative. I'm still experiencing difficult/devastating Amygdala hijack but have more tools & more self awareness with which to unscramble.
I know that diagnostics in mental health gets a bad rap from various quarters these days & I was very sceptical myself back in the day. 20 years ago I went to an official Mental Health website with a friend & read through the symptoms associated with the major severe mental illnesses; Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Borderline, Depression, Anxiety & discovering I had symptoms of *all of them* I concluded that the criteria must, in some important way be wrong & I used that to shy away from Mental Health Services a while longer, despite endless & worsening suffering.
I am not overly attached to keeping the diagnosis's if & when they no longer fit my experience, but until that very very welcome day I am comfortable & helped by the use of the "Map" & description that is a diagnosis.
Modern Songs that are Actual Miracles of Musical Healing Perfection (Pt 1)
I've not completely recovered from being riled up by a manipulative & intentionally hurtful & condescending bully on Tuesday. I've had a permanent headache, increased anxiety & waking up in the night & early in the morning with panic.
I actually sight read 4 Chopin Polonaises on Tuesday evening, essentially to attempt to take back my consciousness from the intense irritation at the injustice of being dumped on by an emotional vampire as a BPD sufferer.
I've some big Mental Health posts on route but....well, they will be here when they are.
Anyway, turning to old musical saving graces like these babies can be a great way to intercept painful obsessive Amydala hijack, the big catch is that with Bipolar the ever present danger of overstimulation of Dopamine receptors is a risk with all stimulants, including Rock Music.
Anyway, in moderation 😅 These are some emergency Miracles of Musical Healing Perfection Pt 1 - I'm posting a live version as well as the studio main version of each track as..... well because I want to.
Of course there are no surprises here.... just pure love.