Having the Language in Mental health

I just wanted to mention this as it’s so important. Frankly, I believe that not being able to describe your experience is the main reason that people are unable to get the diagnoses & thus the help they deserve. It certainly was in my case.

For example, I had never heard the phrase ‘dissociation’ or really understood the state it referred to until looking into BPD post diagnosis & it leapt off the page as an identifier for a state that I’d regularly been in, unable to function normally, losing many hours to a semi-embodied state…. kind of….. not knowing what the heck it was or why it was or what triggered it or even if my perception of it was in any way real or substantial… that’s a lot isn’t it…But it’s intrinsic to severe states of mental illness, the insubstantiality of insight, the fact that being dissociative will often be accompanied by paranoia which restricts insight even more.

Since learning about Dissociation my experience of it has substantially abated, to the extent that I’d say I’d only expect to have in in very very extreme circumstances, like meeting a hero or having a car crash etc whereas I used to have it randomly in the house when I was alone without any sort of reason or warning it seemed.

Becoming educated to the language descriptors for all of my/your conditions, traits of conditions is probably more accurate for me now, well, is crucial to anyone having problems with their mood regulation or their negativity or managing stress etc as it’s the bridge to beginning to explain & then to getting help.

Another bit of language that was helpful to me was ‘emotional dysregulation’, it’s a brilliant phrase because it removes the woolly edges away from people who talk about mood as if it was just clouds passing by in the sky rather than the big bastard weather fronts of being really ill with BPD or Bipolar. It’s been incredibly helpful to me just to discern where I am in terms of mental wellness, how much bounce my emotions have, how fast I return to okness after an upset.

Very often an over simplified mainstream mental health perspective doesn’t give you the language you need to explain a complicated ongoing situation, you have to study your conditions, bunches of traits definitely count & become your own expert, especially as the NHS is so depleted & underfunded now. Much of the natural mental health, nervous system free resources available on YouTube Etc are profoundly helpful & easy to find. Become your own expert. 

Post Menopause & Exercise - Debra Atkinson

Describing how older people of both genders are often thwarted from their fitness goals when commonly trainers are using work out regimes that are actually designed on research focused on young men at their hormonal early twenties peak. Debra is an fitness & exercise specialist who describes what the post-menopausal body needs to thrive. 

Fit n fitter - I Shouldn't Really Be Here

I’m really quite physically fit, fitter than I’ve ever been amazingly but over 50 I do accept that my tummy is now doing it’s own thing to quite a large degree now…. Unconnected to exercise or calorific intake…. just off in its own apparently…. lol 

No it’s lovely 🥰 I’ve worked really hard to achieve even this & it’s lovely…… Gratuitous bikini pix to you. 

If you’ve suffered severe mental health problems & you make it past 40 you’ve done so amazingly well - the stats are clear…. My imaginary autobiography would be called “I shouldn’t really be here”. If you add up the life years lost to each of my conditions it adds up, using the max stat for each condition to exaggerate for effect…… to almost all of my mad massive 55 years that I’ve achieved

ADHD loses you between 11-13 yrs of life when still active in adulthood, with women disproportionately more likely to die from accident….(that’s very ADD)

BPD = a risk of 15-20 yrs lost and Bipolar 1 can lose you 11-20 from the average life expectancy.

I know that’s a overdramatic way of viewing it but I’ve used it for affect…. The overall average for severe mental illness is about 10 yrs lost….but it’s the quality of life lost thats the real disaster for all mental illness imo…..the suffering, the loneliness, the low self esteem…. that’s what’s really tough…..be kind to yourself for gods sake & practice having your own back for when no one else does. 💜🙌

Who am I well

This is just musing.

I’ve struggled, very much indeed with my mental health pretty much constantly since my early teens - 40 yrs more than…..& now I’ve finally found, grow, cultivated some equilibrium & peace in my nervous system that’s been very hard won but feels very real & very sustainable…. But 

But…now I’ve got to find out, or create, who am I well…..it’s so late in the day to get emotional limbs back, not back, but to grow emotional limbs that function ok, are reliable, somewhat reliable, potentially can be relied upon, to support me in adversity….. I think it’s really understandable that I’m not sure who I am well yet….. 

Hmmm, of course I’m aware that identity issues are an important tenet of BPD but this is different, my life has been long term centred on the mystery of my admittedly rather complex mental/nervous system health picture….. and now I’ve achieved real, clear indisputable progress at long loooong last….. now I need another focus….. obviously there is the maintenance of wellness which with Bipolar 1 also in the mix, is not to be taken lightly & I absolutely do not take it light, but I know how to prevent episodes now, I’ve apparently mastered it. 

It seems I’ve mastered it by self awareness, the insight that I’ve gained from being (somewhat) conscious in episodes plus some quite major lifestyle modifications that I guess others prefer not to make.