May & Clay

 

May & Clay - after weeks & weeks dry - all this May heavy rain is just running across the clay-heavy ground in torrents. Thats the footpath there.

I wanted to live blog getting soaked this morning & say "I don't want to do this" I don't walk for fun or for pleasure - I walk because I cannot risk not walking - I especially got my exercise-needy dogs because I need to be pulled out of the door twice a day wether I want to go or nor to PREVENT DEPRESSION -maintaining the routine wins vs depression. The double trouble of the 2 full-on male collies bust through the clay like physical inertia that deep depression establishes so perniciously. 

I do not recommend this exact technique to the faint of heart - it was an extreme measure in the absence of any meaningful support system, this did win against long looong loooooong stagnant brain damaging depressions.

It was a desperate measure, getting 2 energetic male dogs as puppies from the same litter. I was ending what I knew had to be my last attempt at a relationship & I knew the distraction needed to be severe enough to prevent complete capitulation.

I may have overplayed my need but undershooting it was not an option.